What Happened to My Mind After 10 Consecutive Days of Meditation
My mind was buzzing with grand ideas of the future. I could be a movie star! No, an Ironman triathlete! No, a bestselling author! No, a CEO! One thought after another entered my mind like race cars whizzing by on a track. I simply could not manage the chaos within my mind, my brain.
One minute I was thinking of getting a hamburger at a local fast food chain, the next I was thinking of ice cream, ice cream, ice cream.
This was my daily life. I’d be lucky to get beyond movie-watching on most days and actually do anything productive.
The fact that I could not sit still without a bad dopamine hit (movies, junk food, ice cream, donuts, more junk food) was concerning to me.
I needed to sit with my mind. Meditation was the potential answer to my woes, for exploring the chaos within.
In order for this to work effectively, I learned that I should set a daily habit goal of at least 10 minutes, meditating on a chair. Some people could get away with 10 seconds or two minutes in a day, but I definitely needed longer. The crazier the mind, the longer I’d need.
My 10 days looked like this (in minutes):
It was awesome to see that I reached over 30 minutes on several days. I set a timer and aimed for a half-hour. If I found the meditating too unbearable, I’d stop sooner.
I didn’t struggle too much with reaching 10 minutes or more because I chose a comfy chair and just eliminated any distractions. Actually, I rather enjoyed it.
Although it was only 10 days as of writing this, I think I’ll definitely continue the habit, for many benefits I’ll get into next.
Instead of being completely useless, I actually found myself creating more things throughout the 10 days. I was able to write a sentence down when that seemed impossible before. Heck, writing this blog post is a productivity indicator!
I even started looking at my day and documenting some of my activities as video and image content. I just felt like I was accomplishing things and taking action on unique ideas for once.
Although the level of productivity wasn’t Earth-shattering, it was still something better than before.
Funny thing is, I never set out to be more productive going into this whole meditation thing. I just seemed to start doing things. Maybe my mind was finally connecting some dots.
To me, it’s all completely…mind-blowing. Pun intended.
435 words in and I can already say that this blog post would have never existed one month ago. I was just not in a mindset to be able to sit down and write like this for a very long time. That’s right, even writing just 435 words. It’s as if the mind muscle has been strengthened from meditation.
Beyond writing, I’ve been sticking with exercise and drawing for longer. Instead of half-finishing a canvas, I could doodle a complete thing without getting down on myself. For exercise, I’ve been able to focus on the moment and not rush through it out of discomfort.
Everything just feels easier to see through to the end.
My existential anxiety about the future and the meaning of life has subdued to a degree. Now I’m not as worried about the past or future, maybe because I’m focusing on really sitting with that worry during meditation.
Then the worry just floats by while I sit there, almost like my mind is diminishing its effect on me. I’m not very scientific with all of this, but it sure seems incredible to me.
As anxiety can often be connected with depression, that anxiety reduction has seemed to help with any of my negative thoughts in the morning. The struggle to get out of bed has been improved upon, if only a bit. There seems to be more excitement, in my mind, at the idea of waking up and being productive on things. Then there is almost a rolling momentum with every positive step, like a rock defying gravity and rolling up a hill.
I started to lash out at people over the past few years. Mostly my family members (because I’m quite reclusive). I didn’t know why I was feeling the way I was, but for some reason everything started to make my blood boil.
I’m still struggling with anger to this day.
I do feel some calm from the 10 days of meditation. The boiling of the blood may only reach 100 degrees Fahrenheit instead of 120 now (I’m just making up numbers, although I should measure haha).
Maybe this newfound sense of calm will only improve with more meditation. That would be nice.
As my brain was running in circles and my thinking and memory deteriorated these past few years, I feel like decision-making is quicker now with this meditation. Ideas come to me in a clearer way. I feel more aware of good and bad thoughts.
Being 31, it would be great to enhance any intelligence I have left. The memory improvement is a good sign too, because my short-term memory has been taking a hit.
Although I still have a seemingly infinite number of ideas coming to me throughout the day, I feel like I have better control on what is flowing through my mind, in addition to acting on good ideas (see Productivity above). I suppose handling those ideas has improved, while some creativity may have been enhanced.
Now my findings in this blog post would all just be personal speculation, but when I do a Google search on the benefits of meditation, here is what comes up:
Isn’t that interesting. Many of the benefits seemed to have happened to me, albeit at an elementary level.
I wonder what would happen if I continued meditation for months? Hmm.